Seven Years

Today marks 7 years of being “cancer free”. It is hard to describe how I feel about it - I have such mixed
emotions to be honest. I posted a lengthy post on my personal Facebook page and I felt it fitting that I
share it here as well.

7 years ago today I was declared “cancer free”.
The truth is... once you are diagnosed you are never really “cancer free.” It
remains apart of your life.

If I am being honest I would tell you that I battle fear daily. Most of the time
I can keep it in check but I do have my days - especially when I hear of a
friend being diagnosed or even worse, when they lose their battle. Those moments
are hard.

The last 7 years haven’t been easy. I have dealt with extreme fatigue -
especially the first 2 years into remission, I struggled daily to get out of bed
and with 4 small children that was not a fun place to be.

I have dealt with criticism that I “didn’t bounce back” quickly enough. The
expectations of others that the day I was done with treatment that I should just
be “all better”, which was totally unrealistic. I have had to deal with my own
mourning process of a life I once knew where I was full of energy and could do
anything I wanted. It wasn’t easy to adjust to my “new normal.”

I am constantly criticized for our lifestyle changes - my compulsion for reading
our food and household labels and my desire to live as non-toxic as we possibly
can. I get asked, “Why do you waste your time with that nonsense?” Because I
don’t want to be diagnosed with cancer again. I can’t control much in this world
but I can control what comes into my home.I have also had to learn to deal with
other long-term side effects to the chemo and radiation I received - like my
inability to swallow correctly at times. This is a pain for sure but it could
be worse. So many that had the very same treatment I had are now experiencing
chronic lung failure and will be on oxygen for the rest of their lives. Others
have had their hearts damaged due to the treatment as well. So far, I have be
spared from these side effects and for that I am grateful.

Right now I am at the tail end of my “window”. This means that after 5 years of
being “cancer free” the chances of the original type of cancer coming back is
drastically reduced. (Praise God!) But at 8 years they will start watching me
closely for secondary cancers - like breast cancer. My risk factor for breast
cancer is quite high. Just by having radiation it was increased another 30% on
top of my already high risk. But God is so much bigger than statistics and I
refuse to put Him in that box.

I am not sharing this to complain or to sound ungrateful. I am beyond grateful.
I rejoice every day I wake up. I rejoice every day I get to be a wife and
mother again. I rejoice at every moment I am not in treatment. I view my life
as a gift and my goal is to love fiercely each and every day I am given. I do
my best to not take any of it for granted because we don’t know what tomorrow
will bring.

I am sharing this to be real. I am sharing this so that maybe someone can gain
a little more understanding so that perhaps they can be a little more
empathetic to that person who is being diagnosed or has been diagnosed in their
lives. I am sharing this so that person dealing with cancer right now doesn’t
feel alone.

If you have been diagnosed I am with you and are my prayers. And you are not
alone in any of it.

Here is to 7 years of not being in treatment. Praying for many many more.

Ultimately, I do feel profoundly blessed to have had the 7 years I have had. So many didn't get them. It is such a hard journey for sure and if it wasn't for the Lord's divine strength I know I wouldn't be where I am today.

May you be blessed wherever you are and wherever you are at in your own journey of faith.

Andrea