I went into the room of my little boy, Cayse, the other 'morning while he was still sleeping and saw these sweet little feet poking out from under his blanket. I was immediately taken back to seven years ago when I was actually pregnant with him.
I was diagnosed with cancer in 2011. I was placed in remission in 2012. We were told I would not be able to have any more kids due to all the treatment I had to receive so you can imagine our surprise when we found out we were expecting this sweet little man in 2014.
At that time, I was struggling every single day with fatigue. I was barely able to take care of the 4 kids I had and here God was going to hand me another baby... I was scared. Then you add our history of pregnancy loss and the fact that I had who knows what steadily pumped into my body for nearly a year prior to this pregnancy...
To top it all off, these sweet little feet.... Who would have known they would cause so much excitement. He would hold them just like this when he slept in utero and they were convinced that he had club feet.
I vividly remember the day they told us this news. Evidently, I did not react how they anticipated They paused a few minutes and then they tried again, “Mrs. Gressman, you need to face the reality that your baby is likely going to be born with club feet.”
I responded referring to the anatomy ultrasound we had just had, “Oh, I know what my reality is. You have told me that his brain is fine, his heart is fine, lungs, kidneys, all his major organs are fine. We can fix his feet.” I went on to explain that after having a son that was unable to breathe on his own at birth and the number of pregnancy losses we have had - I just wanted to get him here. That was our main prayer and everything else could be worked out.
They left my room in bewilderment. I know this because when I went back to the waiting room I could hear them talking about me in the next room. They quoted what I had said to them in shock. I wasn’t offended by this - I just knew they hadn’t had the same life experiences I had.
For the rest of my pregnancy, I had such a peace about this situation - a peace beyond all understanding. The kind of peace that only God can give.
I had a few more ultrasounds and each time was the same. Finally, I said, “No more ultrasounds. It is going to be what it is going to be.”
A few weeks later he arrived in the world. I asked how his feet were and they told me that they were perfectly fine.
As I watched him as a baby (and now even as a seven-year-old) he has this habit of folding his feet into this position when he sleeps. Oh how simple an answer it is now when you can see it. It wasn't so simple when we couldn't see it - just like in everyday life sometimes.
Today, it just fills my heart with gratitude when I see his sweet little feet. I am grateful that God saw us through ALL of it. He helped me deal with my fear. He restored my energy. He gave me peace. He also brought this amazing little boy into our lives that we didn’t even know we needed until we had him.
He has such a heart for the Lord and it will be delightful to watch how God continues to use him. I know He has already used him tremendously in my own life.
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