Andrea Gressman

Recently I found myself in this place.  I don't really know how to describe it.  I felt like I was just completely closed off.  Like I had experienced so much heartache and pain in my life that I was just done.  I was done feeling.  I was definitely done being hurt. And if anyone had hurt me in the past - well I was done with them too.  After all, they had proven to be unsafe, unhealthy, and toxic to my life.  Why would I want to keep exposing myself to that?  I found myself in this place. And I didn't like.  I desperately wanted peace. And in my desperation I thought if I removed all the people that were robbing my peace... If I built those walls... If I just don't let them in... Somehow I would find peace.  But I was experiencing the exact opposite. And I was slowly beginning to give up on the idea that I could ever experience the type of peace I desired on this side of Heaven.  Several months ago I as invited to a conference and although there were a thousand reasons to

When you lose someone you love. Someone you deeply cherish.  You covet the little pieces of their lives that they have left behind.  The sweet memories.  A handwritten note.  A precious gift.  All of these are treasures.  These are bitter but mostly sweet.  For you are sharply aware of the magnitude of the pain of their loss. But remembering their love outweighs the sadness of that moment.  How sad it would be. Tragic in fact.  To live life beyond them. Without these messages of love from them.  My precious girt has outgrown a gift from her papa who passed last March.  But before we parted with it we spotted a special little addition he had added when he gifted it to her.  A "spoiled" license plate.  And he was one of her biggest spoilers.  It was fun to remember how he used to love on her so. 

Sweet baby Cayse is 17 months old today.  It seems like just yesterday that he was born.  I have loved every moment with this little man.  It has been such a gift.  He is beyond precious.  It is so fun watching him grow and learn each and every day - seeing his little (big) personality develop.  I am so thankful for my number five.  My beautiful boy. So blessed. 

What beautiful words. Prayer. Strength. Love. And for these to all be connected by joy. Something that seems so simple but yet is so very profound.  For without joy what is life? Just an existence. Empty and absent.  As I seek joy in 2016 I am challenging myself to find joy in all things on an even deeper level.  To not let a single moment pass by me without capturing the joy of that moment.  Even in the seemingly mundane or unpleasant.  There is something good in all things if only we choose to see it.  My joy is my own.  It is no one else's to take.  But it is mine to freely give. 

I am a mom of five. My house is rarely quiet. My children make noise from sun-up to sun-down.  Between my baby's babbles, my 16 year old's deep conversations, and the other 3's seemingly constant requests there is someone always wanting my time and attention.  But if you sit and listen. Amongst the surface chaos you will find these moments of peace.  Peaceful noise.  When the squabbling stops and the encouragement begins. When they become each other's biggest fans. Their best advocates.  And their greatest defenders.  When one of the siblings puts their Legos down, sets their football aside, or puts a bookmark in their latest read to make the baby giggle and feel loved in a way only a big brother or sister can.  When you can hear your little one practice their new found skill of reading - you just can't help to beam with pride as you know they have just opened the door to a whole new world.  When you can hear them talk through a math problem they just did in their h

Today marks 4 years of remission. I was diagnosed with Hodgkin's Lymphoma on February 2, 2011 and was declared cancer-free on January 4, 2012. Today I can exhale just a tiny bit more. In the last 4 years I have learned that cancer will be a factor in my life for the rest of my life. It will never be something that I don't think about and carry with me. The fear of the cancer coming back or being diagnosed with a secondary cancer will always be in the back of my mind. I know the statistics by heart. I can recite my risk factors like they are written on the back of my hand. But I do my best  live my life beyond these numbers. To live with the hope that my story can be different. That hope gives me peace which I cling to.  I have tried to ensure the fact that I am a cancer survivor does not define me but being realistic it will forever be a part of who I am. And I find my battle now is keeping my fear in check and live each day to the fullest - leaving as many pieces of me behind

So I hear a lot of different opinions on New Year's Resolutions. I have friends that faithfully set them each and every year and I have friends who are  adamantly against them. Here is my take on the NYR.  First, I think the end of the year is a perfect time to do some deep reflecting. I do a lot of reflection anyway - sometimes too much honestly. But I really spend some time on it at the end of every year.  Usually reflection creates in me a desire for change and improve in at least a couple of areas.  Second, I am a very goal oriented person. I find goals to be motivating. So instead of calling them New Year's Resolutions I just call them goals.  I know I hear so often that there is no point in setting a NYR (or a goal for the new year) because they will just fail anyway. Well, if you don't set them at all you don't have the chance to achieve them either. I would personally rather potentially fail if it also meant I had the potential to achieve something great. But th

So for part of our Christmas this year we decided to take our kids to Disneyland. (More on this later.) While there this man struck up a conversation and he couldn't believe we brought all 5 of our children to Disneyland. Crazy concept - I know - taking ALL of our kids to Disneyland at the SAME time. We thought about making them all draw straws to see who we would leave at home but I couldn't find enough straws... Then we thought about leaving the baby behind but he was free and I can't say no to a bargain.... Just kidding!!!😊 But honestly, I hear this kind of stuff all the time. You should see when I take all of my kids to the grocery store, or better yet, a restaurant by myself. I want to tell people that I have 5 words for them.... I. Can. Read. Your. Lips. 😉 Most of the time it just makes me chuckle. (Unless they say something rude. Then I get irritated.) I know that the majority of the time people just don't understand it because they don't know it. If they k

How is it 2016 already? It seems like yesterday I was 12 and then I blink and I am a wife and a mother of 5. Time sure does fly.  I have been doing a lot of reflecting to ring in the new year. I have been thinking about the things I accomplished in 2015... What I didn't... What I want to accomplish in 2016.  I think I kind of had the motto in 2015 to "just to better". Eat a little healthier. Exercise a little more. Get a little more organized. Make more memories. And I believe I accomplished all those on a tentative level. This year I want to use 2015 as a springboard and just keep doing better in 2016.  I am excited for this year. Probably more so than I have been in many previous years. I know it is going to be a great year.  Oh, and I plan on doing a whole lot more writing than I did in 2015. 😊