Andrea Gressman

I recently read an article written by another mama of a stillborn. It was the one year anniversary of her loss. She made the comment that she was surprised at how many hard days she had experienced in the last year. She thought that when she found out her little boy was gone that would be the worst of it but she had experienced many hard days since then - some she felt were even harder. There is so much truth here. At least for me there is. I would think there would be no harder moment than finding out my baby no longer has a heartbeat. But then there was. Then I would think there would be no harder time than the 33 hours from the moment I found out he was gone to when I delivered Kanton. But then there was. Then I would think there would be no harder moment than leaving him at the hospital, or going to the funeral home, or his funeral... I just kept thinking that if I could survive this moment or that moment that it would get easier. I especially thought this after his funeral. ...