Andrea Gressman

I recently went to a conference and it was such a rich time for me spiritually. I feel so convicted to share some of the nuggets that were presented to me in the hopes that maybe someone else can get something out of it as well.  Most of these are not overwhelmingly deep. Some are very simple concepts that may even have been presented before to me but for some reason, it grabbed ahold of me now or just had a different meaning in the present time. The first nugget was the idea that "we are not in Kansas anymore."  We have heard that saying so many times in reference to the Wizard of Oz movie many of us grew up watching.  This was actually a reference to our post-Covid circumstances in the church world. However, I do feel like it can be applied to our family life, friend life, and even work-life just as much as it can be applied to our church life.  It was a simple statement. He was referencing how the church was sitting at a certain mark and then when Covid hit many ...

Shortly after the funeral we started getting calls and texts for other life things. Bills showed up in the mail, our kids/'schedules carried on, my husband's work schedule resumed.... the world kept going and I didn't... I wrote the following in my journal: "My world has stopped - but no one else's did. How do you keep on functioning in a world that keeps moving when you are at a stand still?" The best way I can describe it is like I am in a fog. I don't want to be but just like a real fog you don't have a lot of control over it. It is just the reality of being in deep grief I guess. In all honesty I am not resentful or bitter that other people's worlds have carried on. That's just life. It wasn't their child that died. But I do have a hard time with those who expect the same from me. Just being real here which I promised from the beginning of this process that I would be. I can tell you the sweetest words I have heard through th...

I recently read an article written by another mama of a stillborn. It was the one year anniversary of her loss. She made the comment that she was surprised at how many hard days she had experienced in the last year. She thought that when she found out her little boy was gone that would be the worst of it but she had experienced many hard days since then - some she felt were even harder. There is so much truth here. At least for me there is. I would think there would be no harder moment than finding out my baby no longer has a heartbeat. But then there was. Then I would think there would be no harder time than the 33 hours from the moment I found out he was gone to when I delivered Kanton. But then there was. Then I would think there would be no harder moment than leaving him at the hospital, or going to the funeral home, or his funeral... I just kept thinking that if I could survive this moment or that moment that it would get easier. I especially thought this after his funeral. ...

So for part of our Christmas this year we decided to take our kids to Disneyland. (More on this later.) While there this man struck up a conversation and he couldn't believe we brought all 5 of our children to Disneyland. Crazy concept - I know - taking ALL of our kids to Disneyland at the SAME time. We thought about making them all draw straws to see who we would leave at home but I couldn't find enough straws... Then we thought about leaving the baby behind but he was free and I can't say no to a bargain.... Just kidding!!!😊 But honestly, I hear this kind of stuff all the time. You should see when I take all of my kids to the grocery store, or better yet, a restaurant by myself. I want to tell people that I have 5 words for them.... I. Can. Read. Your. Lips. 😉 Most of the time it just makes me chuckle. (Unless they say something rude. Then I get irritated.) I know that the majority of the time people just don't understand it because they don't know it. If they k...