Andrea Gressman

The complexity of our emotions has always amazed me. How you can have joy for something and be sad for something all at the same time?... Literally feeling two completely opposite emotions at once. How is that even possible?  I absolutely believe God designed us that way for so many reasons but as I navigate through this grief I find myself in I can't help but to think He designed it specifically for this situation as well. Feeling joy for something during sorrow brings hope and hope is essential. You lose hope you lose it all. I grieve with hope.  Another example of this is having children on both sides of Heaven.  When people say or think... she just needs to enjoy the children she has. Or, she just needs to be thankful for the children she has. Or, at least she has other children.  (Yes! People say these types of things.) I don't think they are fully understanding the situation - at least my situation as that is the only one I can speak for....

Three weeks ago we found out our baby boy was gone. At some point his precious heart stopped beating and I became the mother of a stillborn. This has been a tremendously difficult journey for me. My heart is broken. I simply have no other way to describe it. I miss my sweet Kanton so much and a day has not gone by that I have not cried for him. I don't expect to have a day without tears anytime soon. I have prayed and prayed for God to help me find a way to use this for some sort of good. I am honestly not sure if I have heard an answer to my prayer yet or not but I do feel like God is asking me to share some of my grief journey now - something that honestly terrifies me but I will be obedient nonetheless. I have been writing continually since we found out our baby boy was gone. For as long as I can remember writing has been a tremendous outlet for me and God has used it to help me find healing during some of my toughest battles. I pray it becomes that for me again as I gri...

Recently I found myself in this place.  I don't really know how to describe it.  I felt like I was just completely closed off.  Like I had experienced so much heartache and pain in my life that I was just done.  I was done feeling.  I was definitely done being hurt. And if anyone had hurt me in the past - well I was done with them too.  After all, they had proven to be unsafe, unhealthy, and toxic to my life.  Why would I want to keep exposing myself to that?  I found myself in this place. And I didn't like.  I desperately wanted peace. And in my desperation I thought if I removed all the people that were robbing my peace... If I built those walls... If I just don't let them in... Somehow I would find peace.  But I was experiencing the exact opposite. And I was slowly beginning to give up on the idea that I could ever experience the type of peace I desired on this side of Heaven.  Several months ago I as invited to a conference and ...