Andrea Gressman

Two months ago today we found out our baby was gone. And in case anyone is wondering - no, it hasn’t gotten any easier. I still miss him every single moment of every single day. My heart is still broken. It certainly hasn’t gone away. I am absolutely not “better”. I still physically ache for his loss. I still cry every single day. Yesterday I was at a store and randomly the cashier told me that in August it will be 5 years since she lost her son. My heart melted. Then I felt this heavinesss to share with her that I just lost my son as well. Two months ago tomorrow, I said. She looked at me with tears in her eyes and said, “It never gets easier and it never goes away.” Then she came around to my side of the counter and gave me a hug. I fought the tears as hard as I could but the emotions won. We both cried. She said, “It doesn’t matter how old they are when you lose them, you will miss him the rest of your life.” I know she is right. Every day there are sti...

The complexity of our emotions has always amazed me. How you can have joy for something and be sad for something all at the same time?... Literally feeling two completely opposite emotions at once. How is that even possible?  I absolutely believe God designed us that way for so many reasons but as I navigate through this grief I find myself in I can't help but to think He designed it specifically for this situation as well. Feeling joy for something during sorrow brings hope and hope is essential. You lose hope you lose it all. I grieve with hope.  Another example of this is having children on both sides of Heaven.  When people say or think... she just needs to enjoy the children she has. Or, she just needs to be thankful for the children she has. Or, at least she has other children.  (Yes! People say these types of things.) I don't think they are fully understanding the situation - at least my situation as that is the only one I can speak for....