Andrea Gressman

As I have shared on here before one of my struggles through the loss of my son is where to bury him. I know this would not be an issue for everyone out there, and that is okay, but it has been an issue for me. The funeral home has been so very kind in letting me have the time I need to find the peace I need for this next step. They graciously said they would take care of my sweet Kanton until my heart was settled. Ultimately, I want my son's body close to me right now. I want to be able to visit him often. I finally felt like my heart was settling on a little cemetery that I can literally see from my back yard. I told my husband that I wanted him in the closest corner to our house. Well, this week my husband went and spoke to the man who runs the cemetery. There were only 3 plots left and one of the plots is the exact same plot I wanted. I felt this overwhelming feeling when I heard this. Like God was saying: I knew this would be hard for you and I saved a spot for ...

Having a stillborn is difficult on so many levels. A pastor sent us a sympathy card and in it he said in all the years he has been doing funerals that the stillbirths were always the hardest for him. One minute you think everything is fine and then it's just not. One minute you are experiencing one of the most joyful experiences of your life - you are preparing to have a child. Then the next minute you are discovering your child has died. As if that isn't horrible enough, you then have to decide when you want to allow them to induce your labor so you can deliver your lifeless child. My words from that day:  "There is a really unfair process to having a stillborn baby. You find out your child is gone - there is no longer a heartbeat - but then you have to go through the labor and delivery of the baby. the only word I can use to describe this is that it is just cruel." I knew this was coming. Although this was my first stillbirth, I have miscarried before and ...