To the Mamas of First Time College Students

To the mama of that first-time college student.

First, take a deep breath and know it is all going to be okay. I know that is easy for me to say as that is not my child you are having to release but please know that I was sitting right where you are now a year ago. In fact, I just dropped my oldest son back off at school yesterday so he can start his sophomore year and it really made me pause and reflect. Then I remembered all that I felt the year before and knew there would be other mamas that would be feeling the exact same way this year and might need a little encouragement.  So here we are.

You see, I didn’t know how I was going to do dropping my first-born off and driving away. His entire senior year I would have these moments where it would just hit me that he was going to be leaving and I would get a little choked up. Okay, sometimes a lot choked up! However, my son is incredibly tuned into my emotions and I certainly didn’t want to make anything any harder on him as he transitioned out of our home. How many times do we as mom’s put our own feelings and emotions aside for our children? I felt like this one was going to be no different. I wanted to be what my son needed me to be. I knew he would be going through a lot too and I didn’t want to be a distraction from the focus he needed to have to start on this new journey of his own.

 So, I prayed. And prayed, and prayed, and prayed. I wanted to be who the Lord wanted me to be in the moments leading up to leaving my son at school as well as the time after.

Finally, one day I was praying and I felt God tell me just as clear as a bell…. You job title will never change. You will forever be “Cale’s mom,” but your job description is changing and will continue to change as he moves through this stage of life. It was like this big neon sign appeared and it just made so much sense to me. I also had so much peace as a result of it.

Your job title will never change - it is your job description that is changing. 

So, I started to really pay attention on the cues my son would give me. I would back off when I needed to back off and I would engage when I needed to engage. He would come to me when he needed me and I would stand back and observe when it felt like he was doing okay. Did he stumble a few times? Of course! We all do. But the most important thing is that he learned. 

I will never forget one instance when my husband was on the phone with my son after he had one of these stumbles, “Well Son, did you learn anything?” I couldn’t hear my son on the other end of the line but I could tell by my husband’s reactions that my son was rattling off the things he had learned from the experience and my husband’s response, “Well that is what matter then, that you learned from it.” There was no lecture. There was no, “I told you so.” There was just support and comfort because we both know that our son beats himself up enough when he makes a mistake (just like so many of us) that he doesn’t need us to verbally beat him up anymore.

So, mamas, I just want to take this moment to encourage you - you will never lose your job title. You will for all eternity be your child’s mother. Your job description will just change now and that is okay. That is what is supposed to happen. That means you did a good job. So just keep praying through it and God will show you the way.

Dear Lord, I am praying for every single mama out there right now that has or is getting ready to drop their first-time college student off at school. It is such a bitter-sweet moment. Bitter because we will miss them being in our home everyday and caring for them like we have for the past 17-19 years. But it is oh so sweet as we see our children go to the next level in pursuing what You have for them. Please be there with each of these mamas to comfort them when they need to be comforted and reassure them when they need to be reassured. And please protect our children. In Jesus name, Amen.

Blessings & Love,

Andrea