To the mama of that first-time college student.
First, take a deep breath and know it is all going to be
okay. I know that is easy for me to say as that is not my child you are having
to release but please know that I was sitting right where you are now a year
ago. In fact, I just dropped my oldest son back off at school yesterday so he
can start his sophomore year and it really made me pause and reflect. Then I
remembered all that I felt the year before and knew there would be other mamas
that would be feeling the exact same way this year and might need a little encouragement.
So here we are.
You see, I didn’t know how I was going to do dropping my
first-born off and driving away. His entire senior year I would have these
moments where it would just hit me that he was going to be leaving and I would
get a little choked up. Okay, sometimes a lot choked up! However, my son is
incredibly tuned into my emotions and I certainly didn’t want to make anything any
harder on him as he transitioned out of our home. How many times do we as mom’s
put our own feelings and emotions aside for our children? I felt like this one
was going to be no different. I wanted to be what my son needed me to be. I knew
he would be going through a lot too and I didn’t want to be a distraction from
the focus he needed to have to start on this new journey of his own.
So, I prayed. And
prayed, and prayed, and prayed. I wanted to be who the Lord wanted me to be in
the moments leading up to leaving my son at school as well as the time after.
Finally, one day I was praying and I felt God tell me just
as clear as a bell…. You job title will never change. You will forever be “Cale’s
mom,” but your job description is changing and will continue to change as he
moves through this stage of life. It was like this big neon sign appeared and
it just made so much sense to me. I also had so much peace as a result of it.
Your job title will never change - it is your job description that is changing.
So, I started to really pay attention on the cues my son would
give me. I would back off when I needed to back off and I would engage when I needed
to engage. He would come to me when he needed me and I would stand back and
observe when it felt like he was doing okay. Did he stumble a few times? Of
course! We all do. But the most important thing is that he learned.
I will
never forget one instance when my husband was on the phone with my son after he had one of these stumbles, “Well
Son, did you learn anything?” I couldn’t hear my son on the other end of the
line but I could tell by my husband’s reactions that my son was rattling off
the things he had learned from the experience and my husband’s response, “Well
that is what matter then, that you learned from it.” There was no lecture.
There was no, “I told you so.” There was just support and comfort because we
both know that our son beats himself up enough when he makes a mistake (just
like so many of us) that he doesn’t need us to verbally beat him up anymore.
So, mamas, I just want to take this moment to encourage you
- you will never lose your job title. You will for all eternity be your child’s
mother. Your job description will just change now and that is okay. That is
what is supposed to happen. That means you did a good job. So just keep praying
through it and God will show you the way.
Dear Lord, I am praying for every single mama out there right
now that has or is getting ready to drop their first-time college student off
at school. It is such a bitter-sweet moment. Bitter because we will miss them
being in our home everyday and caring for them like we have for the past 17-19
years. But it is oh so sweet as we see our children go to the next level in
pursuing what You have for them. Please be there with each of these mamas to
comfort them when they need to be comforted and reassure them when they need to
be reassured. And please protect our children. In Jesus name, Amen.
Blessings & Love,
Andrea
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